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Dimensional Warp Generator Needed

I got something similar to this a week or so ago, but simply discarded it without reading the entire message. Now that I've received this, I think someone out there is trying to tell me something. But who would think that I know how to make something "that will not disrupt the time space continuum with both forward and backward capability accounting for temporal location settings (X, Y, Z, n)"?

Subject: Dimensional Warp Generator Needed [random letters deleted]


I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me. Since nobody in this timeline seems to be able to deliver what I need (safely here to me), I will have to build a simple time travel circuit to get where I need myself. While it might be hard to find parts in this time to build anything decent, I need easy to follow schematics from the future to build one which is safe and accurate that will not disrupt the time space continuum with both forward and backward capability accounting for temporal location settings (X, Y, Z, n), which can be built out of (readily available) parts here in 2003. Please email me any plans you have. I will pay good money for anything you send me I can use. Or if you have a dimensional warp generator available, and are 100% certain you have a (safe secure) means of delivering it to me please also reply with a secure way to contact you. Send a separate email to me at: [e-mail address deleted]

Do not reply back directly to this email as it will only be bounced back to you.

Thank You
Brian Appel

[random letters deleted]
[random letters deleted]
[random letters deleted]
[random letters deleted]

I was especially intrigued by the instruction to not reply back directly. You would think that someone from the future would know how to set the From and/or Reply-To headers on an e-mail message.

I'm not the only one writing about getting weird spam like this.

More searching revealed that Brian Appel is the CEO of that company that can make oil out of anything Oh, yeah. I remember reading about that. Now that I know he's from the future, I understand where he learned his crazy alchemy!


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 23rd, 2003 05:05 pm (UTC)
a variation
perhaps if one entered into negotiation with the
fella one would find that his ancestors were
workers of the "Nigeria" spam scams which at a
certain point in time ceased to take in anyone
smart enough to read,,,?
Aug. 23rd, 2003 06:28 pm (UTC)
I think I just got that email too. The spam filter caught it, so I let that process run it course without reading beyond the subject line...

I think junk email must be a contributing cause to cynicism at large these days...
Aug. 23rd, 2003 08:01 pm (UTC)
I heard about that waste-to-oil process well before it hit the news. I had money back then, too; I should have bought stock. But then, I'm not very smart.
Aug. 24th, 2003 12:14 am (UTC)
Yeah, I've gotten that one too. The best theory I've seen so far is that it's out there to poison Bayesian spam filters.
Aug. 26th, 2003 05:55 am (UTC)
Yeah, seen that a couple of times.

It certainly falls in the more creative category. Hadn't twigged about the name though, I wonder does he know he's stuck in this time?
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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