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Canada Geese

I've noted before (here and here) that I'm not really a fan of the Canada goose. They're beginning to become a nuisance at my place of employment. So much so, that the Property Manager sent out an email to everyone in the building today:
ATTENTION ALL,

We have had lots of questions brought to our attention about the wild geese that we have here on our premises. We know that they have been known to be real aggressive toward our employees. We do know the geese are nesting and laying the eggs at this time. We do have one out in the front walkway of our [address] building in one of the flower beds near [another building]. We have marked the area with an orange cone. I must tell you that they are very protective of their nest. I must also tell you they are protected by Federal regulations and should not be harmed. If they are harmed there could be fines and charges brought against you.

We thought it might be good to suggest a few things to provide further safety to all employees.

Suggestions we strongly recommend:
  • Try to avoid the geese, walk away from the area where they are nesting
  • Park in the back parking lot of the [address] building to avoid the nesting area
  • DO NOT feed the geese
  • Don't provoke the geese
  • If they start toward you clap your hands
  • Don't shout at them, they think you are provoking them
  • Don not run, they might chase you
Please cascade this email to all your teams.

Thanks
[Property Manager]
OK. So if a goose attacks me outside of the building, I'm supposed to clap my hands -- but I'm not supposed to provoke the geese. That litany of warnings reminded me of the Happy Fun Ball parody from SNL a few years back.

One of my coworkers quipped that he will not negotiate with the terrorist geese and that if they attacked him, he would be forced to retaliate.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
meep
Apr. 17th, 2004 03:26 am (UTC)
canada geese are in no way endangered. so unless you're near a governmental bird preserve, the manager is bs'ing about the birds being protected by federal law. hell, if you can shoot them, how protected can they be? Ok, maybe it's not legit to shoot nesting geese. I have no clue.

Still, =I'd= retaliate away.
drmellow
Apr. 17th, 2004 06:54 am (UTC)
They may not be endangered, but they're still protected because they're considered migratory birds. Even though they've essentially quit migrating and are not prety sedentary.
lemonhd
Apr. 17th, 2004 06:36 am (UTC)
That is hysterical!
sethcohen
Apr. 17th, 2004 06:13 pm (UTC)
You need the Happy Fun Ball icon!
You can gank it from allah_sulu. He won't mind.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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