Don't forget that the evil that is DST visits us tonight. If you're not paying attention, you'll be an hour late for church.
As you know, I am a vocal advocate for eliminating Daylight Saving Time. Studies show that it wastes energy and costs more and is responsible for increased death and injury rates. Obviously, this is a horrible practice that should be abolished -- we are slaves to DST.
I'll be running for President again next time, on the anti-DST platform. Join me.
Remember: a lie agreed upon is not the truth. DST is a lie.